We’ve all heard of the term “soulmate,” but what about “twin flame”? It’s a term that’s floating around online more and more, and while it sounds like it’s basically interchangeable with soulmate, that’s not totally accurate.
The general theory re: twin flames is two people who were split into different bodies, but share the same soul. Twin flames make “soulmates” look and feel totally disposable in comparison, since it’s like a soulmate on crack. “You’ll probably have many soulmates, but there will always be just one twin flame,” says Chris Pleines, founder of DatingScout.com.
Think you’ve found yours? Here are some clues that you may have found your twin flame:
1. While a soulmate has strictly romantic connotations, a twin flame doesn’t necessarily have to be romantic.
Yes, romance is preferable when it comes to finding your twin flame. Falling in love with someone who totally *gets* you sounds pretty nice, right? However, romance doesn’t necessarily have to be the end-all-be-all for twin flames, explains Pat58, a relationship expert and psychic advisor. Think of a soulmate as someone who would fight to the death for you. A twin flame is more about a connection you share with the person that’s largely built on commonalities from your past.
2. A twin flame’s purpose is to help you teach each other and grow.
“In spiritual teaching, twin flames are two halves of one soul that have united to teach each other profound lessons,” explains Cara Kovacs, NYC-based relationship expert.
3. A twin flame relationship might be very on-and-off.
Twin flame relationships do not necessarily last a lifetime, explains Channa Bromley, relationship and dating coach. “Once the lessons have been learned, we may or may not stay in the relationship. We do become whole because of the growth and healing that the twin flame relationship provides.”
4. … And the relationship might be super tense and emotional.
Whereas soulmates ~complete each other~, twin flames are more about pushing each other to grow, adds Kovacs. This totally tracks with the idea that with any growth, there’s a certain degree of tension to be expected. Ultimately though, through any conflict, twin flame relationships are there to help each person heal.
5. You’ll feel like you’ve known this person your whole life.
“They feel familiar in a way that you can’t quite explain, but you feel instantly very comfortable with them,” says Kovacs. As you get to know each other, you might come across details in your upbringing that you have in common, such as both being adopted, or you might have even been at a lot of the same events at the same time without ever meeting. Kovacs adds that the feeling of meeting your twin flame can be described as intense and familiar at the same time.
6. Your twin flame will feel like “home” for you.
Your twin flame will completely get and accept you. You’ll often share similar interests, thoughts, strengths, and weaknesses, says Paulette Sherman, PhD, a psychologist and dating expert.
7. You’ll act as mirrors for each other.
All this similarity is so you and your twin flame will eventually reflect each other in a way that heals deeply held wounds from childhood, or even past lives, according to Kovacs. This mirror-like quality is also responsible for some of the drama you will likely encounter with your twin flame. “Everything that we have spent our lives running from or denying is suddenly in front of us,” says Pat.
8. Not everyone finds their twin flame, but if you do, it’s got the potential to be a totally life-changing kind of love.
Yup, not everyone gets reunited with their twin flame through their life, according to Pat. However, she adds, that if you are reunited, the relationship has the possibility to be “once-in-a-lifetime-ain’t-nothing-ever-gonna-be-the-same-love.” No pressure!